Listening To Adult Adoptees: A Lesson For Adoptive ParentsAdoptive parents are familiar with the difficulties of fielding intrusive comments, so why have they begun challenging and quizzing adopted adults?
Lydia sits down next to me and begins talking with an adoptive mother. Both Lydia and the woman’s eleven-year-old daughter are adopted from Korea. “What about the guys you date?” The mother asks, looking over the tops of her reading glasses. She raises her eyebrows. “Do you go out with Asians?”
Lydia freezes. Then she sighs and shrugs her shoulders, her expression so dramatic changes across her face like sunlight slipping behind a cloud.
The carpet beneath my feet seems to press upward, and I wish I could become part of the wall. It’s unintentional, of course, this mother thinks she is only asking appropriate questions, and that it’s OK to expect an adult adoptee to open up her life for her examination.
I'm older than dirt. And over the years, as a parent of Korean born-children, I’ve met my share of noisy questions, but today the tables are turned. Instead of the insensitive comments from strangers that trailed me when my kids were growing up, today the rude remarks and probing questions I hear asked, slip from the mouths of adoptive parents, and are directed towards adopted adults.
Read more at her site.... and www.terratrevor.com
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